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"The Qualities of a good keyholder ........"

The following are a representative examples of male replies to our Chastity UK 2003-2004 survey in response to the above statement.

She should not only do this for me. I love the feeling of Her enjoyment of having me locked up. But it is very important that She reminds me, of Her power and control. my gift to Her is control of my orgasms, Her gift to me should be teasing and denial. then, I'll go for ever.

Playful, loving but firm. She should have the ability to know when to deny release (in order to build desire) and when to allow it (enough sometimes is "enough")

My wife is very loving and our marriage is an equal partnership i n every sense except one. Only she decides when and if I get out and whether or not I get to cum.  I would not have it any other way.

I desire keyholding as a shared communication: on my side, a interest in having sex and promise not to masturbate (and diminish my sexual desire); on her side, a clear communication (by removing the device) of an interest in having sex; and for both of us, through the symbols of a device on my penis and a key around her neck, an ongoing awareness that mutually anticipated enjoyable sex is just a key click away.    Punishment and humiliation are not part of this formula.    I'd insist on access to a key of my own to deal with discomfort and inconvenience. The device is a symbol of commitment and something of a stimulant, but not a tool of enforcement.

I could not imagine a better keyholder and girlfriend than Sarah. She knows how to push my buttons right. She knows how to keep me on the brink of cumming but stop at the last second. She knows that she controls me and gets her share of pleasure while not overstepping her bounds or being overly unreasonable. Most of all she will not do anything that is uncomfortable to me or her.

She would require much sexual pleasure every day, tease me, and cause me to have so many orgasms that I would not be able to masturbate when allowed; failure means continued confinement and pleasure for her.

Very loving, but also very strict, much teasing and more dominant.

Understanding yet strict.

Trustworthy but with a wicked streak!

My chastity is an ultimate form of devotion and love for my Wife/Mistress.  She is a loving person, confident in Her basic belief in Femsupremacy.  I share this belief, taking this step to show I support these beliefs.  She is firm, strict and very loving.

To be Herself.  Do as She wishes.

The perfect keyholder is the one that does not give you a choice.

The most important attribute for a keyholder is that they actually want their partner locked up - this can be faked or real but to the wearer it's important. I'm lucky that my keyholder is firm in that respect, and loving, caring, teasing...

The key holder is my wife and she is firm and teases me a lot. Our friends know I'm locked up 24/7 and I get to give my wife/mistress a lot of attention if I want treats!

Supportive, challenging, loving.

Strict, will deny using keys unless agreed conditions met.

Strict, firm, confident.. and caring, loving.    The keyholder must always be in control, and make decisions fairly i.e. keeping locked or even unlocking for misdemeanours.  At the same time she should always  act on a whim at times.  Thus if she promises relief, she should, at any time, change her mind for no reason.  She should also become adept at milking.

Strict, but caring and most secretive re. location of key.    It's most important that the wearer knows that he is really "Locked away".

Strict, assertive, dedicated. 

Strict but loving and aware of potential problems-health, hygiene, etc.

Someone who will let you have the key. if you want out

Some one who will check with you to see how you are doing. Some one who will milk me to keep me in denial

Should require fidelity, maintained by chastity device.   Should set ground rules for wear and release.  Should use device to spice up sex life and spark the romance.  Should release the potential power of chastity device and use it to advantage.

She takes an interest in her wearer. For example my wife call me periodically just to see how I am "feeling". Some days I have a lot of erections, some days not.    She is gentle but firm in her administrations of my chastity.    

She "milks" the wearer once a week if she is not into having sex.    She combines forcing the wearer to wear women's panties with chastity which aids in controlling submissiveness.    When alone together she always has the wearer exposed.    

Trustworthy and reachable.   

She should look after my belt, she should be firm and not give me the key without good reason and she should stay with me when I open the cage to cleaning and be sure that I close it again afterwards quickly.

She only lets me out when she wants to make use of my cock.    And, of course, I am always locked when one of us is travelling.

One that will not let me out for any reason expect to please them, caring and loving she understands my needs to be in a chastity devise and agrees with me.

One that shows some compassion while being firm in keeping full control of the key.  Not permitting any backtalk or allowing the belt to be unlocked unless she needs what is locked up.

No release, even if you beg.  and enough teasing to keep you horny.

My wife is the keyholder.  She is caring and gracious to me.  She appreciates my initiative in purchasing a chastity device with the desire for her to hold the control of our sex life.

My wife is my key holder, she is a caring and loving woman who like to play fun games with our sex life.

My wife holds my key and has done for many years. Her qualities are being strict  when I am allowed to be unlocked which is usually once a week along with being considerate as she milks my prostrate once a week at the same time. A key holder should be confident and ideally loving but knows what she wants first so having a keyholder who is a bit selfish makes for a great relationship.

My Mistress is very caring, confident and very loving.    She is there when I call her or e-mail her and I adore her for her great loving attention when I am prisoned 24/7 to Her. No complaints but she is strict.

My KH sends me pictures of women in bondage, a huge fetish of mine, and makes me write a description of what I saw to prove I looked at it.  I get hard just thinking of a woman in handcuffs, then to actually see a picture of one, it's torture!  This keeps me very frustrated until I get to see Her and hope for release.  She charges me $10 for every time I get released, She gives me 5 minutes out of the device to do with how I please, after which I am locked back up for a period of time determined by Her..  If I do bug her for the key, She adds 1 week to my next release and a $25 fine.  I wanted Her to be very strict like this.  She has no problem filling that role.

My KH is caring and she will not let me out to have sex or to masturbate unless she wants to.... she is a tease at times which is good.

My girlfriend insisted I wore a chastity belt when she moved in with me two years ago. She is enthusiastic about sex and needs attention at least once a day. I'm kept lock away all the time and I pay her 100% attention. A keyholder must be loving, considerate but above all not give in to requests of pleadings for release. They must be in control and demand respect.

Loving but strict.  Demanding but fair.  Has a clear sense of what the enforced chastity is for and what are the mutual goals.  For us, it is a symbol of her Supremacy and my willingness to submit in a correct manner. It makes it clear that her sexuality is premier and my role is to serve and adore.

Intelligent, caring, sadistic, and teasing.  She is firm and not to be manipulated by the pleas of her cared for one.  She is loving and corresponds or talks to me each and every day.

Ideally it should be your life partner; has to be caring and loving and understand you wants and needs.

I would like my wife to be more "teasing" than she is now. Sometimes she feels it necessary to simply say "No, I'm not taking it off". No kissing, cuddling, or whatever.  She'd prefer to read and leave me to my own frustration, without assisting to make it more "fun".

I want to give my sexuality to my keyholder, and like it that she can control it. Others can see, and I feel that I belong to her. 

I have never tried one of these services, but will in the near future.  A good keyholder for me would be very strict dominant and would revel in the idea of knowing that I was helpless to achieve an erection, have absolutely no chance of touching myself, not be able to masturbate, have no chance of starting a new relationship with a woman, etc.  My ideal keyholder would be a female friend who I had a long friendship with but with no future for a relationship.  She would be of such high regard to me that she could destroy all the keys, weld the lock shut, etc., and I would then hold her in an even higher regard.

Firmness and resolve to keep me caged.  Willingness of the wife to enjoy oral sex while I am locked up.

Firm to schedule,  provides encouragement and support,  teases me (causing frustrating attempts at erection).

Excited about the benefits and results she benefits from chastity and enjoys playing the game.

DOMME WIFE is just great. We have been married for 36 yrs.    SHE is the DISCIPLINARIAN in the family. SHE is caring, firm, strict and very loving. We both care a great deal about each other.

Confident and Very strict! Punishes every fault mercilessly. That is the only way the male learns to modify his bad, selfish behaviour, and put his Wife/Mistress/KH first, where She belongs!

Caring, understanding and sharing in the fun of it all.

Caring, Teasing, Fun, Open Minded

Caring and strong during the early days, my wife was also quite turned on and was wanting sex on a more regular basis, this defeated the object and I have now replaced my penis interim with a vibrator and servicing my wife orally this increase the amount of time I stay locked and of course increase the amount of frustration I have.  My wife recently posted the keys to herself at work and we are on vacation for 2 weeks so that in itself is quite daring and I will be locked for a certain 2 week duration. 

A keyholder should define the terms ahead of time and follow the terms. if it is a week, it should be a week. The only time it should change is for punishment or reward, but even with punishment it should be a predefined amount of time as a maximum.

A keyholder should be firm, but fair. It makes for no fun if I can get out whenever I want- that's the POINT of having a chastity device (for me). She should accept Her rightful place as the owner of another's release. She should also have a slight inclination of deviousness and wicked creativity.    My keyholder is new to the lifestyle and is learning quickly. Her desire to learn the ropes only makes me appreciate her even more.

A good keyholder values health over the fun, but is otherwise strict, loving and enjoys as much sex as possible.

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If you're a woman and have just stumbled across this page take a look at Tickleberry information about becoming a keyholder, full of useful tips and advise for Wives & Girlfriends

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