Real Life examples of successful and unsuccessful ways of introducing your wife or girlfriend to keyholding:

 

Lucky - 5th August 2004

 

I have had interest in chastity for a long time and even made my own "bird cage", which I have used without my wife's knowledge (i.e. at work, when she was away from home for some days etc.) 

 

Last time she was away for 5 days I used the cage and decided, very nervous about her reactions, to hand her the keys when she returned. She
found the whole thing rather strange (she is very vanilla) but agreed to take the keys as she could see how much it meant to me. We had great sex ending with my release. 

 

But she still was very uncertain of my expectations as she really doesn't like to be the dominant. I have also used the web extensively to watch pictures and stories of all sorts of Femdom and have been trying pushing her into
dominating me, and actually this has merely been pushing my sexual
desires further away from hers. Showing her different pictures has made
her even more reluctant because she can't see herself or me in these
situations which she finds repulsive.

Anyway, I was of course extremely excited about her taking the keys
so a few days after, I put the cage on again. And that was just too pushy for her.   We had several days of arguments ending with the cage being put away and me having the keys back again. 

 

This was approximately 6 months ago. I have thought a lot about what it is I really want from this and the main driver is to feel intense sexual
arousal being with my wife.   

 

So last week I told her about this, that all I really want from her sexually is to feel that she is my sex goddess, that she is my fantasies (very much inspired by the homepages of "A Married Woman's Guide to a Happier and More Fulfilling Marriage" and that of Elise Sutton) and that I wanted the
first rush of falling in love with her again and again. Off course
there are still fantasies of her teasing me endlessly (and this is
one thing that she does not have anything against except maybe a
little pity for me). 

 

So with butterflies in my stomach I said to her that by rationing my orgasms I would believe that we could achieve some of these goals. When presented this way she finally understood that this is different from the scenes/pictures I have shown her. 

 

It is indeed about wanting to improve our sexual relationship, but with
her in the driver's seat.   So, although she felt uncomfortable by
having to control me and deny my release (and even thinks sex is not
quite as good when we don't have orgasms the both of us), she agreed
to give it a try. 

 

So now she rations my orgasms to one every second week. I still don't dare to talk about using a chastity device, in the fear that she might reject the whole idea for good. So it is on an honour system and I hope I am able to keep my self from masturbating.  Hoping she will find that she enjoys the control and my attention to her, she might want to lock me up sometime.

My story is just to tell you, that depending on your wife's attitude to D/s you might want to consider very closely how to approach your wife with your desires.

Cheers
Lucky

 

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